yet again again again i always think ive been misread, misjudged, or misinterpreted. its simple. every single thing i do is in regard to keep someone/ anyone happy at heart. i never (yes NEVER is the word) INTENTIONALLY want to hurt anyone. i dont blurt out things, i dont hold grudges, all i do is say to myself repeatedly ITS ALL GONNA BE ALRITE.
when the road diverges to two, you take the beaten path, you take the path that you are familiar with. without hesistation, its human instinct to do so. i do that as well. i was afraid of unfamiliarities, i was afraid of taking chances, i was afraid of fucking up. that WAS me. i took the beaten path, known faces, friendly smiles, warm embraces, warm souls, that WAS and IS the path i chose. but what do i do when a new character jumps into my path and conveniently makes itself feel home? shall i be harsh and send it of the door ? when all that face wants is a chance to prove itself right ? (now the moral questions arise : do everyone deserve a chance? do anyone ever deserve forgiveness? do we have our rights ? ) ... so as complicated this THING is, familiar faces tend to unfamiliar, is it because my attention is driven away.. or am i simply being ignorant. neither! so, this is it.... i know.. my life is FUCKING SHORT..all i wanna do is make everyone happy. i know... im going to continue on this beaten track, there is not time for the road untaken! i want it to there. i want it to be real. i learnt my mistakes. i learnt that somethings should be said out aloud, somethings are to be kept within. being a student i am, we swore by confidentiality; who talks with you, will talk about you.
In a nutshell, ive learnt my mistake, how silly one can be to let it slip twice? as much as unconvincing i may sound.. totally satirical it all may seem to my eyes... im gonna remain in my place, with doors open, if you walk in ill receive you with my open arms. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on myself.
simple mistake, may be not, how do u deny yourself of love? how deny yourself of compassion? how do you deny yourself of affection ? are these deadly sins? doubt anyone can do that ...believe all these elements can soften a rock! little things in life that makes it all beautiful. and ive learn that life is short, why sit and whine about it while you can be other skipping through the parks; kicking off autumn leaves....
do i say frustration ?
Posted in on by
i believe you can NEVER kill a dead person. regardless of how many stabs one can take.. but once you are dead you will be dead. now that i sit and ponder the last few weeks of life. it has been a roller coaster ride. been under emotional turmoil and tremendous magnitude of pressure as time was ticking for me to make up my mind and steer my life along the right path.
however, SIGH! as much as i try nothing seem to work out right. exactly when i turned a new leaf, attempted to be a better person karma backfired me. i had fingers pointing towards my direction but when i chose to be harsh and mean... oh hell yeah baby I am indeed the bad one (thats without doubt)
but finally when i have come in terms with myself, as i frantically search to attain some sorta balance in my life and juggling it all ... there you go again, i still do get some amount of accusation. life seem to betray me.. shall i just be the fucked up person that i have been??
- signed out-
however, SIGH! as much as i try nothing seem to work out right. exactly when i turned a new leaf, attempted to be a better person karma backfired me. i had fingers pointing towards my direction but when i chose to be harsh and mean... oh hell yeah baby I am indeed the bad one (thats without doubt)
but finally when i have come in terms with myself, as i frantically search to attain some sorta balance in my life and juggling it all ... there you go again, i still do get some amount of accusation. life seem to betray me.. shall i just be the fucked up person that i have been??
- signed out-
3 days
Posted in on by
im gonna be away... im bidding farewell.... but i will be back :) miss-me-not you cute lil thing!
since u QUESTIONED me (for the zillionth time)
Posted in on by
lol..here i am bloggin' (why should i do that?? ) at the fact i should be jumping about merrily anticipating my road trip to kedah. thanks to you. im bloggin'! silly!!!! anyway... what should i say... ooo.like how i love to sleep when it rains! hide under my warm blankie (hugs would be magical).....how i love to just laze on my bed after i wake up... how i always want to hit the snooze button (oops... do i have a snooze function on my brand new HIGH END phone) ...
when u WANT TO DO IT SOOO BADLY...it never happens! like how im talking so much of shit now!!random and shitty! like seriously ...
ooo.. .... totally HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAZA, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY VIMAL and HAPPY BIRTHWEEK TO BOTH OF YOU!!!
this is exactly when 23 slams. age weighs heavier and makes you shorter. you are not 22 and you are not 24. 23 isnt the finest age to be at... this is like a kid is wanting to grow up. now all you want to do is go back to childhood (or prolly grow up faster). tell me who ever wants the latter ??
no no .. im not being pessimistic about turning 23! its just what age does to you. i think ... it makes you wiser ....
fret not! you are not alone..we all age with time.... so seize your beautiful moments...and live life to the fullest.... and happiness is the essence to a happy life of course.... (this is my ramblings!!)
love y'all much!
p.s: with this I'm gonna do what my heart says ..... I'm gonna please myself :)
OH MY GOD .. U ARE UNBELIEVABLY BLIND!!!
when u WANT TO DO IT SOOO BADLY...it never happens! like how im talking so much of shit now!!random and shitty! like seriously ...
ooo.. .... totally HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAZA, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY VIMAL and HAPPY BIRTHWEEK TO BOTH OF YOU!!!
this is exactly when 23 slams. age weighs heavier and makes you shorter. you are not 22 and you are not 24. 23 isnt the finest age to be at... this is like a kid is wanting to grow up. now all you want to do is go back to childhood (or prolly grow up faster). tell me who ever wants the latter ??
no no .. im not being pessimistic about turning 23! its just what age does to you. i think ... it makes you wiser ....
fret not! you are not alone..we all age with time.... so seize your beautiful moments...and live life to the fullest.... and happiness is the essence to a happy life of course.... (this is my ramblings!!)
love y'all much!
p.s: with this I'm gonna do what my heart says ..... I'm gonna please myself :)
OH MY GOD .. U ARE UNBELIEVABLY BLIND!!!
enchantment
Posted in on byIt felt like first kiss,
Life has many twists,
Even when it seem like a hit or miss,
One thing I'm sure...with you i saw bliss...
Life has many twists,
Even when it seem like a hit or miss,
One thing I'm sure...with you i saw bliss...
if it doesnt kill .. it only makes you stronger...
Posted in on byLife has been peculiar,
Riding on waters that weren't familiar,
The goals finally became clear,
Within him, there was no more fear.
He is back,
Once again on track,
Did take a short slack,
Finally, the nut he did crack.
She left him outside in the rain,
All alone to deal with the pain,
Worse off than being slain,
To live with himself he had to train.
Tear after tear he cried,
Until his eyes were nearly dried,
Today he stands with all his pride,
With the power of choice all on his side.
Riding on waters that weren't familiar,
The goals finally became clear,
Within him, there was no more fear.
He is back,
Once again on track,
Did take a short slack,
Finally, the nut he did crack.
She left him outside in the rain,
All alone to deal with the pain,
Worse off than being slain,
To live with himself he had to train.
Tear after tear he cried,
Until his eyes were nearly dried,
Today he stands with all his pride,
With the power of choice all on his side.
days
Posted in on by
days come ..days go.....
some days are meant to stay...
some days are never meant to be...
some days that you have been hoping never seem to find its way .....
but when eventually do....
sure you will be taken by surprise...
this is when the world conspires with you...
all you can do is turn that frown upwards...
smile and the world will smile along....
beautiful days.....
some days are meant to stay...
some days are never meant to be...
some days that you have been hoping never seem to find its way .....
but when eventually do....
sure you will be taken by surprise...
this is when the world conspires with you...
all you can do is turn that frown upwards...
smile and the world will smile along....
beautiful days.....
summer and sun!
Posted in on by
summer sunshine..
skip, skip and we will rhyme,
dawn to dusk ..hands entwined..
nothing you are but mine...
continuation of 3rd year (moral of the story)
Posted in on by
as a whole 3rd year has been amazing... it was nonetheless one of the special years in my heart.. we reinforced our bonds... scrutinized our friendship and even converted some into a more concrete ones.. we sealed what we already had.. i have a family now! always had ..
as these beautiful souls made their way into my life... i would never regret that our paths have crossed (you know who you are) some things are meant to be... and to some that i have met this year along the way.. new friendships have blossomed....and hope it lasts till my death do us part (i know it is a sappy line from weddings hehe) ... im a sucker for love! told yah!!
if you have known me long enough.. you would have known me by now. i give it all. i give my heart and soul for a friend (even foe at times) regardless..it is out of unconditional love. as i always say.. i would die a thousand time over just for you and when i do... i mean it...
life teaches valuable lesson..this year taught us. yes it did... i used to tolerate nonsense..now that we have gone through what we have gone through... doubt we can put up with deceit and hypocrisy any longer...
so yeah...if you are in for the long run... get on my wagon... or else please ring the bell for the next stop (and yes i mean it). it is neither funny nor entertaining to twiddle with one's heart. we are aint no toy, nor monkeys... just human.. as human as you can be!!
life is not a game of chess. all you have to do is strategise move your pawns, knights and fix it with your bishops and castles. Bang CHECKMATE! poof! Life isnt as simple as that. Feelings are not to be toyed around. One's feeling is as important as yours. If you want something in return do it with honesty you wouldnt go a penny poorer. Look into the eyes and say it.. Say the truth. Dont play hide and seek.. Because you know KARMA is a BITCH. It gets you back right on your ass! Be nice... Respect to be respected. Love to be loved. Cheat to be cheated ;)
So look, i am not an open book. I consistently try to figure my true self . I must admit i have a soft spot for love and happiness. I would go an extra mile to make people around me smile. Just make sure that smile of yours will keep me smiling for the rest of my life... as smile your smile radiates the world smiles with you! Erggghh... i am such a sucker for smiles anyway... Ill stop all this drama... and Let the summer love begin!
As for academic year... i can say that i am done with 3rd year.. but having immunology in my back pocket refrains me from doing so (despite the fact it isnt a preexquisite) ... and i have indeed done good this year! and dad i want my reward :) anyway... i leaped across these monstrous hurdles...and i am about to fly back to home in lesser than 48 hours! so home here i come....
FANTASTIC YEAR !!!!!!! couldnt ask for anything better!!!
xxx love, hammy!
as these beautiful souls made their way into my life... i would never regret that our paths have crossed (you know who you are) some things are meant to be... and to some that i have met this year along the way.. new friendships have blossomed....and hope it lasts till my death do us part (i know it is a sappy line from weddings hehe) ... im a sucker for love! told yah!!
if you have known me long enough.. you would have known me by now. i give it all. i give my heart and soul for a friend (even foe at times) regardless..it is out of unconditional love. as i always say.. i would die a thousand time over just for you and when i do... i mean it...
life teaches valuable lesson..this year taught us. yes it did... i used to tolerate nonsense..now that we have gone through what we have gone through... doubt we can put up with deceit and hypocrisy any longer...
so yeah...if you are in for the long run... get on my wagon... or else please ring the bell for the next stop (and yes i mean it). it is neither funny nor entertaining to twiddle with one's heart. we are aint no toy, nor monkeys... just human.. as human as you can be!!
life is not a game of chess. all you have to do is strategise move your pawns, knights and fix it with your bishops and castles. Bang CHECKMATE! poof! Life isnt as simple as that. Feelings are not to be toyed around. One's feeling is as important as yours. If you want something in return do it with honesty you wouldnt go a penny poorer. Look into the eyes and say it.. Say the truth. Dont play hide and seek.. Because you know KARMA is a BITCH. It gets you back right on your ass! Be nice... Respect to be respected. Love to be loved. Cheat to be cheated ;)
So look, i am not an open book. I consistently try to figure my true self . I must admit i have a soft spot for love and happiness. I would go an extra mile to make people around me smile. Just make sure that smile of yours will keep me smiling for the rest of my life... as smile your smile radiates the world smiles with you! Erggghh... i am such a sucker for smiles anyway... Ill stop all this drama... and Let the summer love begin!
As for academic year... i can say that i am done with 3rd year.. but having immunology in my back pocket refrains me from doing so (despite the fact it isnt a preexquisite) ... and i have indeed done good this year! and dad i want my reward :) anyway... i leaped across these monstrous hurdles...and i am about to fly back to home in lesser than 48 hours! so home here i come....
FANTASTIC YEAR !!!!!!! couldnt ask for anything better!!!
xxx love, hammy!
3rd year in a nutshell
Posted in on by3rd year started with mal's birthday ... 4th of october...
we had a surprise at the lebanese.. but yet she found out...wasnt that great of a false proof plan.. but we did have fun as the next day was eid celebrations at the prague embassy....
we were anticipating it as we had a colour theme... an extension from mal's wedding (Razin's too) :P
family portraiture is a must :)
Next was diwali... home away from home. i have finally managed to make do of what i have. This time around i can proudly say that i didnt not shed a single tear... yes! i am proud... kudos to my small well established family here! u gave me strength and held me tight in your embrace.. its the love that matters ...
lovely linah n i ;)
and i had my must have jam tarts! home made by shalini the great... yeah it shoo-ed my devilish desire far away ..
OUR ROAD TRIP & I GAMES '08
OUR ROAD TRIP & I GAMES '08
our first roadtrip to prague... short yet interesting...
all the singing on the way... and a pitstop for picnic (malaysian style in cold winter)
perfect for a hot nasi lemak but i must say the cold wind took the best out of us :(
KOREAN FOR DINNER! (aah.. jalan jalan cari makan..apalagi)
all the singing on the way... and a pitstop for picnic (malaysian style in cold winter)
perfect for a hot nasi lemak but i must say the cold wind took the best out of us :(
KOREAN FOR DINNER! (aah.. jalan jalan cari makan..apalagi)
looks like bibimbap is my favourite korean dish ;)
after all the eating...we burned it all off!! the fantastic duo working our way to the top! and yes..we won champions ;) (only for this tho:( )
this boy has a special spot in the igames history.
marvelous performance, great game!
but sigh...accidents happen ...
yes this is exactly when he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament..
and hope this summer will fix it all (we will pray for a speedy recovery)
we need the coach on the turf!!
p.s: probably it was the nazar... like mom always's say... if u wanna know what is nazar please enquire within ...(not the malay word nazar but hindi ..NAZAR!)
marvelous performance, great game!
but sigh...accidents happen ...
yes this is exactly when he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament..
and hope this summer will fix it all (we will pray for a speedy recovery)
we need the coach on the turf!!
p.s: probably it was the nazar... like mom always's say... if u wanna know what is nazar please enquire within ...(not the malay word nazar but hindi ..NAZAR!)
HERE YOU GO! ITS US... DESPITE SETTLING FOR THE 3RD PLACE WE ARE STILL PROUD OF OURSELVES...NEVERTHELESS WE WILL BE BACK WITH FULL FORCE NEXT YEAR!!
FORZA OLOMOUC!!
POLAND TRIP :)
FORZA OLOMOUC!!
POLAND TRIP :)
My smile would have explained it all... fun fun fun ...
as you would have known by now she is my darling! how can live without her my BRA!
these ducks have a soft spot in my heart! seriously..they ate our KFC CHOCOLATE MUFFIN! yes nick and i fed em... unforeseen circumstances...blame it on the hormones... (inside story)
it was raining !! raining!! we were trashed!
i love this picture!!! olomouc holy trinity column ;)
What you are about to see below is my love of my life! Rashidah Tasneem! How much i love!! seriously.. i do... sometimes i run out of words to explain .. but yes i do!
What you are about to see below is my love of my life! Rashidah Tasneem! How much i love!! seriously.. i do... sometimes i run out of words to explain .. but yes i do!
fish & chips and green peas, pier ... bestie.... whatelse can i ask for
RAZIN'S BIRTHDAY
presenting to you hammy's first collection of homemade personalised cuppies!! and i love em!!
presenting to you hammy's first collection of homemade personalised cuppies!! and i love em!!
and now tada...
ITS MY TURN... MY BIRTHDAY!
MIND YOU I HAD 3 CAKES!!!
ITS MY TURN... MY BIRTHDAY!
MIND YOU I HAD 3 CAKES!!!
(nasi lemak cake created and designed by chef shalini)
(cheese cake by chef shalini tooo)
and from zaza lil one!!!
this year has indeed been a memorable one...and thanks to all of you for making it soooo special :)
MALAYSIAN NIGHT 09
this year has indeed been a memorable one...and thanks to all of you for making it soooo special :)
MALAYSIAN NIGHT 09
Love birds on the roll!! i love this shot of theirs...
it says it all :)
this is LOVE
Now allow some craziness
nicky rawrr-ing to indian tunes!!
hosting ?? (double meaning ?? )
TIME TO UNWIND (KARLOVY VARY)
and this is family :)
THIS GIRL BELOW IS LIL MISS ZARREI AFTAB!
yes yes .. i know she is gorgeous.. she is hot..she all that ... but above all she is lovely! she always there.. besides announcing to whole world when i went missing ...she makes me laugh.. she makes me smile...and she is my extra eye...keeping me away from falling into evil hands :) and yes darling i love you tooo eventhough i know we kicked off by picking leaves together at vystaviste for halloween. well yeah.. it was amazing knowing you lovely lady and i wish you good luck for your exams :) much love!
rainy summer :)
Posted in on byOh my the love for rain...
i love the rain...
cant wait for it to rain cats and dogs..
promise myself that i will run out ...
get all drenched...
despite the whole world watching me...
who cares...
thats one thing i love...
and it will love me back unconditionally...
DRENCH ME WITH ITS LOVE!!
shake the raindrops off a tree...
thats one thing i love..
memories will come rushing back...
and leave me gasping for breath..
too much of love to assimilate..
embraces me with all its love...
engulfs into another world...
shall depart from all the troubles...
this is called memory...
on thing i am sure of is ...
ONE WHO SAYS SUNSHINE BRINGS HAPPINESS HAS NEVER DANCED IN RAIN!!
i love the rain...
cant wait for it to rain cats and dogs..
promise myself that i will run out ...
get all drenched...
despite the whole world watching me...
who cares...
thats one thing i love...
and it will love me back unconditionally...
DRENCH ME WITH ITS LOVE!!
shake the raindrops off a tree...
thats one thing i love..
memories will come rushing back...
and leave me gasping for breath..
too much of love to assimilate..
embraces me with all its love...
engulfs into another world...
shall depart from all the troubles...
this is called memory...
on thing i am sure of is ...
ONE WHO SAYS SUNSHINE BRINGS HAPPINESS HAS NEVER DANCED IN RAIN!!
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