Zealouslllly

2009-12-29T16:32:00.001+01:00

my forgiving nature was questioned today? or does this is another evidence of me simple being fickle. looks like ive got a long list for new resolution.

invictus

2009-12-28T05:14:00.001+01:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

short and snappy

2009-12-23T22:10:00.002+01:00

something is missing,
the spark is missing....

in a nutshell

2009-11-03T22:18:00.002+01:00

yet again again again i always think ive been misread, misjudged, or misinterpreted. its simple. every single thing i do is in regard to keep someone/ anyone happy at heart. i never (yes NEVER is the word) INTENTIONALLY want to hurt anyone. i dont blurt out things, i dont hold grudges, all i do is say to myself repeatedly ITS ALL GONNA BE ALRITE.

when the road diverges to two, you take the beaten path, you take the path that you are familiar with. without hesistation, its human instinct to do so. i do that as well. i was afraid of unfamiliarities, i was afraid of taking chances, i was afraid of fucking up. that WAS me. i took the beaten path, known faces, friendly smiles, warm embraces, warm souls, that WAS and IS the path i chose. but what do i do when a new character jumps into my path and conveniently makes itself feel home? shall i be harsh and send it of the door ? when all that face wants is a chance to prove itself right ? (now the moral questions arise : do everyone deserve a chance? do anyone ever deserve forgiveness? do we have our rights ? ) ... so as complicated this THING is, familiar faces tend to unfamiliar, is it because my attention is driven away.. or am i simply being ignorant. neither! so, this is it.... i know.. my life is FUCKING SHORT..all i wanna do is make everyone happy. i know... im going to continue on this beaten track, there is not time for the road untaken! i want it to there. i want it to be real. i learnt my mistakes. i learnt that somethings should be said out aloud, somethings are to be kept within. being a student i am, we swore by confidentiality; who talks with you, will talk about you.

In a nutshell, ive learnt my mistake, how silly one can be to let it slip twice? as much as unconvincing i may sound.. totally satirical it all may seem to my eyes... im gonna remain in my place, with doors open, if you walk in ill receive you with my open arms. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on myself.

simple mistake, may be not, how do u deny yourself of love? how deny yourself of compassion? how do you deny yourself of affection ? are these deadly sins? doubt anyone can do that ...believe all these elements can soften a rock! little things in life that makes it all beautiful. and ive learn that life is short, why sit and whine about it while you can be other skipping through the parks; kicking off autumn leaves....

do i say frustration ?

2009-10-04T12:33:00.002+02:00

i believe you can NEVER kill a dead person. regardless of how many stabs one can take.. but once you are dead you will be dead. now that i sit and ponder the last few weeks of life. it has been a roller coaster ride. been under emotional turmoil and tremendous magnitude of pressure as time was ticking for me to make up my mind and steer my life along the right path.

however, SIGH! as much as i try nothing seem to work out right. exactly when i turned a new leaf, attempted to be a better person karma backfired me. i had fingers pointing towards my direction but when i chose to be harsh and mean... oh hell yeah baby I am indeed the bad one (thats without doubt)

but finally when i have come in terms with myself, as i frantically search to attain some sorta balance in my life and juggling it all ... there you go again, i still do get some amount of accusation. life seem to betray me.. shall i just be the fucked up person that i have been??

- signed out-

3 days

2009-08-05T05:11:00.000+02:00

im gonna be away... im bidding farewell.... but i will be back :) miss-me-not you cute lil thing!

since u QUESTIONED me (for the zillionth time)

2009-08-05T04:42:00.003+02:00

lol..here i am bloggin' (why should i do that?? ) at the fact i should be jumping about merrily anticipating my road trip to kedah. thanks to you. im bloggin'! silly!!!! anyway... what should i say... ooo.like how i love to sleep when it rains! hide under my warm blankie (hugs would be magical).....how i love to just laze on my bed after i wake up... how i always want to hit the snooze button (oops... do i have a snooze function on my brand new HIGH END phone) ...

when u WANT TO DO IT SOOO BADLY...it never happens! like how im talking so much of shit now!!random and shitty! like seriously ...

ooo.. .... totally HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAZA, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY VIMAL and HAPPY BIRTHWEEK TO BOTH OF YOU!!!

this is exactly when 23 slams. age weighs heavier and makes you shorter. you are not 22 and you are not 24. 23 isnt the finest age to be at... this is like a kid is wanting to grow up. now all you want to do is go back to childhood (or prolly grow up faster). tell me who ever wants the latter ??

no no .. im not being pessimistic about turning 23! its just what age does to you. i think ... it makes you wiser ....

fret not! you are not alone..we all age with time.... so seize your beautiful moments...and live life to the fullest.... and happiness is the essence to a happy life of course.... (this is my ramblings!!)

love y'all much!

p.s: with this I'm gonna do what my heart says ..... I'm gonna please myself :)

OH MY GOD .. U ARE UNBELIEVABLY BLIND!!!

this is you

2009-07-30T19:09:00.002+02:00

reminds me of your pretty face

enchantment

2009-07-30T13:47:00.002+02:00

It felt like first kiss,
Life has many twists,
Even when it seem like a hit or miss,
One thing I'm sure...with you i saw bliss...

if it doesnt kill .. it only makes you stronger...

2009-07-30T13:40:00.002+02:00

Life has been peculiar,
Riding on waters that weren't familiar,
The goals finally became clear,
Within him, there was no more fear.

He is back,
Once again on track,
Did take a short slack,
Finally, the nut he did crack.

She left him outside in the rain,
All alone to deal with the pain,
Worse off than being slain,
To live with himself he had to train.

Tear after tear he cried,
Until his eyes were nearly dried,
Today he stands with all his pride,
With the power of choice all on his side.

days

2009-07-23T07:42:00.002+02:00

days come ..days go.....
some days are meant to stay...
some days are never meant to be...
some days that you have been hoping never seem to find its way .....
but when eventually do....
sure you will be taken by surprise...
this is when the world conspires with you...
all you can do is turn that frown upwards...
smile and the world will smile along....

beautiful days.....

FRYday ...

2009-07-05T18:38:00.004+02:00

first meal upon touchdown!!

2009-07-02T18:58:00.002+02:00

pictureblog! works...
yummy mutton briyani!!

summer and sun!

2009-06-29T12:44:00.003+02:00

summer sunshine..
skip, skip and we will rhyme,
dawn to dusk ..hands entwined..
nothing you are but mine...

holiday destination ?

2009-06-29T06:24:00.003+02:00

always wanting to go there.... who am i to drag :( any takers ???
Angkor Wat, Cambodia

continuation of 3rd year (moral of the story)

2009-06-29T05:00:00.005+02:00

as a whole 3rd year has been amazing... it was nonetheless one of the special years in my heart.. we reinforced our bonds... scrutinized our friendship and even converted some into a more concrete ones.. we sealed what we already had.. i have a family now! always had ..

as these beautiful souls made their way into my life... i would never regret that our paths have crossed (you know who you are) some things are meant to be... and to some that i have met this year along the way.. new friendships have blossomed....and hope it lasts till my death do us part (i know it is a sappy line from weddings hehe) ... im a sucker for love! told yah!!

if you have known me long enough.. you would have known me by now. i give it all. i give my heart and soul for a friend (even foe at times) regardless..it is out of unconditional love. as i always say.. i would die a thousand time over just for you and when i do... i mean it...

life teaches valuable lesson..this year taught us. yes it did... i used to tolerate nonsense..now that we have gone through what we have gone through... doubt we can put up with deceit and hypocrisy any longer...

so yeah...if you are in for the long run... get on my wagon... or else please ring the bell for the next stop (and yes i mean it). it is neither funny nor entertaining to twiddle with one's heart. we are aint no toy, nor monkeys... just human.. as human as you can be!!

life is not a game of chess. all you have to do is strategise move your pawns, knights and fix it with your bishops and castles. Bang CHECKMATE! poof! Life isnt as simple as that. Feelings are not to be toyed around. One's feeling is as important as yours. If you want something in return do it with honesty you wouldnt go a penny poorer. Look into the eyes and say it.. Say the truth. Dont play hide and seek.. Because you know KARMA is a BITCH. It gets you back right on your ass! Be nice... Respect to be respected. Love to be loved. Cheat to be cheated ;)

So look, i am not an open book. I consistently try to figure my true self . I must admit i have a soft spot for love and happiness. I would go an extra mile to make people around me smile. Just make sure that smile of yours will keep me smiling for the rest of my life... as smile your smile radiates the world smiles with you! Erggghh... i am such a sucker for smiles anyway... Ill stop all this drama... and Let the summer love begin!

As for academic year... i can say that i am done with 3rd year.. but having immunology in my back pocket refrains me from doing so (despite the fact it isnt a preexquisite) ... and i have indeed done good this year! and dad i want my reward :) anyway... i leaped across these monstrous hurdles...and i am about to fly back to home in lesser than 48 hours! so home here i come....

FANTASTIC YEAR !!!!!!! couldnt ask for anything better!!!

xxx love, hammy!

3rd year in a nutshell

2009-06-28T15:58:00.029+02:00

3rd year started with mal's birthday ... 4th of october...

we had a surprise at the lebanese.. but yet she found out...wasnt that great of a false proof plan.. but we did have fun as the next day was eid celebrations at the prague embassy....

we were anticipating it as we had a colour theme... an extension from mal's wedding (Razin's too) :P

family portraiture is a must :)

Next was diwali... home away from home. i have finally managed to make do of what i have. This time around i can proudly say that i didnt not shed a single tear... yes! i am proud... kudos to my small well established family here! u gave me strength and held me tight in your embrace.. its the love that matters ...

lovely linah n i ;)

and i had my must have jam tarts! home made by shalini the great... yeah it shoo-ed my devilish desire far away ..

OUR ROAD TRIP & I GAMES '08

our first roadtrip to prague... short yet interesting...
all the singing on the way... and a pitstop for picnic (malaysian style in cold winter)
perfect for a hot nasi lemak but i must say the cold wind took the best out of us :(

KOREAN FOR DINNER! (aah.. jalan jalan cari makan..apalagi)

looks like bibimbap is my favourite korean dish ;)

after all the eating...we burned it all off!! the fantastic duo working our way to the top! and yes..we won champions ;) (only for this tho:( )

this boy has a special spot in the igames history.
marvelous performance, great game!
but sigh...accidents happen ...
yes this is exactly when he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament..
and hope this summer will fix it all (we will pray for a speedy recovery)
we need the coach on the turf!!
p.s: probably it was the nazar... like mom always's say... if u wanna know what is nazar please enquire within ...(not the malay word nazar but hindi ..NAZAR!)

HERE YOU GO! ITS US... DESPITE SETTLING FOR THE 3RD PLACE WE ARE STILL PROUD OF OURSELVES...NEVERTHELESS WE WILL BE BACK WITH FULL FORCE NEXT YEAR!!
FORZA OLOMOUC!!

POLAND TRIP :)

My smile would have explained it all... fun fun fun ...

as you would have known by now she is my darling! how can live without her my BRA!

these ducks have a soft spot in my heart! seriously..they ate our KFC CHOCOLATE MUFFIN! yes nick and i fed em... unforeseen circumstances...blame it on the hormones... (inside story)

it was raining !! raining!! we were trashed!

i love this picture!!! olomouc holy trinity column ;)

What you are about to see below is my love of my life! Rashidah Tasneem! How much i love!! seriously.. i do... sometimes i run out of words to explain .. but yes i do!

fish & chips and green peas, pier ... bestie.... whatelse can i ask for

RAZIN'S BIRTHDAY

presenting to you hammy's first collection of homemade personalised cuppies!! and i love em!!

and now tada...
ITS MY TURN... MY BIRTHDAY!
MIND YOU I HAD 3 CAKES!!!

(nasi lemak cake created and designed by chef shalini)

(cheese cake by chef shalini tooo)

and from zaza lil one!!!

this year has indeed been a memorable one...and thanks to all of you for making it soooo special :)

MALAYSIAN NIGHT 09

Love birds on the roll!! i love this shot of theirs...
it says it all :)
this is LOVE

Now allow some craziness

nicky rawrr-ing to indian tunes!!

hosting ?? (double meaning ?? )

TIME TO UNWIND (KARLOVY VARY)

and this is family :)

THIS GIRL BELOW IS LIL MISS ZARREI AFTAB!

yes yes .. i know she is gorgeous.. she is hot..she all that ... but above all she is lovely! she always there.. besides announcing to whole world when i went missing ...she makes me laugh.. she makes me smile...and she is my extra eye...keeping me away from falling into evil hands :) and yes darling i love you tooo eventhough i know we kicked off by picking leaves together at vystaviste for halloween. well yeah.. it was amazing knowing you lovely lady and i wish you good luck for your exams :) much love!

rainy summer :)

2009-06-28T03:25:00.002+02:00

Oh my the love for rain...
i love the rain...
cant wait for it to rain cats and dogs..
promise myself that i will run out ...
get all drenched...
despite the whole world watching me...
who cares...
thats one thing i love...
and it will love me back unconditionally...
DRENCH ME WITH ITS LOVE!!

shake the raindrops off a tree...
thats one thing i love..
memories will come rushing back...
and leave me gasping for breath..
too much of love to assimilate..

embraces me with all its love...
engulfs into another world...
shall depart from all the troubles...

this is called memory...
on thing i am sure of is ...
ONE WHO SAYS SUNSHINE BRINGS HAPPINESS HAS NEVER DANCED IN RAIN!!

me and myself

2009-06-27T23:40:00.003+02:00

today.. i must say... peculiar yet beautiful. i am not feeling me. but i was with my girl. spent some good time together laughing and watching videos! had amazing dinner too not to forget.

but yet i think i need some soul searching. tap my inner side. i feel like i have lost it. i miss walking ... just walking in the nature... jumping in sheer happiness.... yet all in silence.

how many days has it been since ive seen that satin black sky studded with million sparking stars... when... when... when was the last.. this trivial matters brings you back to where you were from... makes you ponder what lies beyond?? that may be the reason for my silence today....

or may i need a hug ??

i still think a perfect night walk would do the magic..... what about the seaside ??? as waves crash into the sandy beach..... as they whisper thousand clandestines to each other.... what about.......... me ....... i want to walk!! take me with you ..take me with you!! under the dark blanket :)

xxx

end :)

2009-06-27T06:56:00.003+02:00

its been rather a while. days have been passing by. it was a swift breeze! unlike anything else. now that im technically done with my 3rd year. im anticipating holidays. honestly, at this very moment i can feel that ive lost touch... i cannot pen down what i see through my eyes. probably blame it on my 3rd eye... the world seem different through it. perfect pictures that brings time to a standstill. joy, sparkly eyes........ i better stop here ... ok my utter randomness is indeed nauseating.. i think ill let some pictures do the talking :)

she in her faraway land

2009-03-10T02:17:00.004+01:00

is it totally wrong to hope ? to dream ?? to anticipate ....some events are created just to keep your spirits high up. future is for us to foresee as well. Its a force that propels me forward at least with a happy heart. But secretly i know the dirty secret; that some events will never come true. but yet i continue building castles in the air. I AM A DREAMER. i dream of beautiful days. smiles. and happiness. i dream.. i dream... its not wrong. i will always look forward with zest and enthusiasm. optimism will never fade. even i know its just a passing cloud, just a dream that melt away when the sun shines.
One thing for sure, get it straight that IT IS ME TO DREAM.
I will continue dreaming till my last breath.
I will continue making plans. making more plans. and more plans.
Even they are not fulfilled.
At least i tried making plans.
And while making 'em i basked in sheer excitement, feeling gay about days to come.

May be i should shut up.
Im not going to utter a single word my vision.
and as ive mentioned before SILENCE is in for spring '09 looks like it has commenced!
~swollen balls & wet quilt ~

2:08 am

2009-02-15T02:08:00.004+01:00

wide awake. reading hot malaysian politic news. i think they are more appealing than a pretty cupcake. among all there is one particular news that caught my attention and its stuck in my head pretty tight.

Malaysian Prime Minister stuck in elevator for 30 MINUTES! not one or two but 30!

Poor Pak Lah. What a day he had at the Putrajaya International Conference. Prime Minister to be stucked in an elevator. Hmmm its not a pretty sight to start off with what about even listening or or reading it on national news, or should I rephrase it International News.

All my life I have lived in Malaysia and above all in Klang (Bandar Di raja) and many a times traffic came to a halt all of sudden. No accidents. No road constructions. But a clear road ahead yet traffic came to standstill and a policeman avidly redirected traffic. Now that makes you wonder??? Yes! Royalty passing or maybe a politician or even VIP VVIP or PRIME MINISTER always causes congestion!

Trailed off by a troop of policemen. Pre and post. High security, scrutinised to perfection, clear road so on and so forth. All of us do pay road tax. But its alright we can wait because commoners we are. Lets leave the tax paying issue aside and get on the policeman a.k.a escorts wagon.

Special policemen (Polis Di Raja) are paid to escort them besides clearing traffic. People are hired to delegate all their miscellaneous jobs and take care the welfare of VVIPs. But I am sad to say they failed to hire someone to handle the ELEVATOR TRAFFIC.

May be its a sign for a new post on JOBSTREET. Full time elevator maintenance technician wanted. Work 24/7. Accompany VVIP. Clean from criminal record. But sigh! Malaysians are too posh for any job of such. Hence, we shall turn to Bangladeshis/ Indonesian to handle this feeble work.

Curious : Where were the escorts and policemen when Pak Lah got stuck in the elevator?
Pergi minum kopi kah ? Bayar gaji bikin apa? Lu mana hilang bos? Mau sabotage kita punya PM kah ? Jangan dosa banyak ? Itu ISA tangkap lo!

I am yet to comprehend how can an honourable man get trapped in an elevator. Ever this happened to OBAMA its time to call for a terrorist attack!

But thanks to Pak Lah :
SABAR ITU TIGA SUKU (3/4) DARIPADA IMAN!

World PEACE! Pak Lah PEACE :)

tahniah to myself

2009-02-14T01:58:00.000+01:00

ahh now i have a clean blog page :)

amor

2009-02-14T00:31:00.003+01:00

listening to if i were a boy by beyonce. bored to death. i should have blogged long ago. long long ago. but i didnt. i was busy holidaying with shidah. now here I am sitting and reality is hitting me. real hard. its valentine's day. its sooooo overrated. Im not a valentine's day person. It is not my thing. I dont see the point! I dont see anything to it! I dont even feel threated if i dont have a date on this day. I dont care whether i get gifts or cards. For that matter of fact, i dont give two fucks if you wished me!

It is just another day. Florists make affluent amount of money. Its time for stock clearance. Anything red, heart shaped have to go! What happened to love the remaining 364 days of the year? Forgotten? Taken for granted ? Why dont i suggest ... go proclaim your love everyday and Valentine's Day will seem like just another day!

But for my mom, Happy Valentine's Day! I know you always express how you feel strongly about familial love and never failed to express yourself on this day. For you mom, over a thousand times I would not mind doing this day. I love you!

Besides my family & valentine affairs, I would remember only my 21st Valentine of my life.. a perfect stalk rose at the blink of sunrise :) Love you sunshine!!

childhood

2009-01-11T08:43:00.002+01:00

if you want to play hopscotch
on a snowy ground..
let ur fingers between mine
with a tight notch
and ill keep u warm..

this new year

2009-01-10T14:03:00.002+01:00

its already 2009!
2008 just brushed my shoulders and went away.

and now i dont really feel like blogging just yet.

im living in my cocoon. leave me for a bit for I want to bask in this silence.
Let this isolation penetrate and give me the grand awakening.
With eyes wide open, yet not being able to see the world.
I am left sprawled in my own pool of flesh and blood.
Switch on the light before me.
I want to see what the future holds for me.

:S

2008-12-29T08:10:00.001+01:00

some are so distant now. where do i go to seek them.

year end part I

2008-12-28T06:54:00.003+01:00

its the time of the year again. reminisce 2008. how amazing it was? all the wonderful memories to add on to the great big book of life. perfect smiles. candid photographs. cheerful days.

sometimes i anticipate the coming new years sometimes i dont. a new year to press that "Reset" button. tada! and u are all brand new. revamp urself and u are good to go.

and sometimes i cripple. thinking of many of the unfulfilled dreams and hopes. despairs.

some new resolutions always remain as resolutions. never made it come true! when will i change. so for a change i have got my first resolution . that is : to stand on firm feet!

... to be continued

tell me

2008-12-25T03:55:00.002+01:00

... im not tormented from within
... im not silently tearing
... im not seeing it coming
... im not good at foreseeing
... im not right
... im not alone
... im not crazy

nashledanou

2008-12-17T08:45:00.001+01:00

i just bidded farewell to a friend. he left for his home. winter holidays:(
tell me im not tempted to go back home!!

2008-12-16T02:11:00.003+01:00

it was a long way,
things seem grey,
till she paved a way,
i saw a radiating ray.

her smitten smile,
i could see from miles away,
i knew god sent me a bouquet,
of love i should say.
my life is gay !

its her an angel in disguise.

p.s: thanks love for all u have done for me. when u walked into my crib today lost i was. i was dumbfounded could not find a right word to say. i was touched and i remain stunned. all i could say was "sit down". the moment you said u will leave i was more than happy to see you go simply because if u stood there for another second you would see me tear. am i lucky ? yes i am to have you in my life!

precious undergarment

2008-12-15T15:35:00.002+01:00

Best friend is like an amazing bra:
gives you great support and always close to heart

i know

2008-12-09T21:17:00.001+01:00

im not alone :) there are a whole lot of people there like me :)

appreciation

2008-12-08T15:23:00.005+01:00

came when I meticulously mended clothes on my own...
now i miss my mum

came when my hunger pangs screamed louder than thunder....
now i miss my dad

came when urgency to pick a fight notched up another level...
now i miss my bro

gently knocked my door when winter seem too cold and i needed some warmth
now i miss ..................

when tap water ran cold, and her love knocked my door

2008-12-08T02:05:00.002+01:00

ku renung ...
terlihat bintang...

ku tenung...
nampak pudar...

ku menung...
mata mu menyinar...

ku senyumm...
mata mu bintang sebenar

kiss

2008-12-05T23:45:00.003+01:00

i believe this way or the other..
one will definitely have a fetish!
like guys in tux, uniformed man so and so forth...

but mine..
i kept it to myself.
it was a secret all this while.
till i watched twilight.
damn they brought my dreams to life!

all i wanted was a kiss from a vampire..
albeit may it be a kiss of death
but i have got my neck to give :)

holy hill

2008-12-04T02:36:00.004+01:00

The monumental Church of the Visitation of Our Lady on the hill Svatý Kopeček (the Holy Little Hill) is the dominant of the area. A rich wine merchant of Olomouc, Jan Andrejsek, promised to build a chapel on Svatý Kopeček, after the Holy Virgin Mary appeared in his dream. In 1995 John Paul II honoured Svatý Kopeček by his visit. In the same year the Church of the Visitation of Our Lady was administered the title “basilica minor”.

internal medicine rounds

2008-12-04T02:18:00.003+01:00

as usual its wednesday. the most dreaded day of the week. i am relatively amazed with my achievement. managed to drag myself out of the bed on time the whole semester. *dust dust dust my shoulder*

anyway, wednesday also means meeting patients. well prepared for patients with liver cirrhosis or diabetes. and yeah we had a patient today who was a diabetic patient and he has heart defect. He was a priest (retired now) at one of prettiest church here in Olomouc. The church is perched on Holy Hill (Svaty Kopecek) overlooking this old town.

Despite the peculiar finding of his rhythmic heartbeat. Guess what ? Father priest was indeed very happy with our presence. May be he needed some colours in his life. All white and blond do not appeal after a long run. dont it?? We were taken by surprise when he started carolling away MALAYSIA OH MALAYSIA. I was dumbfounded.

Awed ?? astonished i would say. That 86 years old fine man had all the energy to put smile on our faces. I would say he is one of the warmest patient i have ever met. He didnt have prejudice in his words. His eye lustre just shone so bright that we know he blessed us with all he had.

That man had only one request. He actually asked us to sing a song. A malaysian song. And given the time and place, wooohooo.. we could have been superstars. Theanees just started singing Negaraku! Amazing that girl has patriotism instilled in her! But we opted for RASA SAYANG instead. We sang it together. That fine man, took a deep breath, closed his eyes and enjoyed our melodious song.

Sometimes you tend to learn. In this big world, small things that happen brings along a big smile! Yes, i am happy now. I made a man smile! He is happy. Hopefully he gets well soon :)

bollywoodathon

2008-11-30T03:46:00.003+01:00

should i say more.
3 days and 7 movies.
hammy, bravo!
instead of studying i ended up in a fairyland :)

mind it 6 hindi movies : ddlj, yuvraaj, fashion, bachna ae haseeno, jaane tu ya jaane naa, race (round 2) and not forgetting the record (spanish)

i rest my case. hence, deduce the exam results :D

suddenly, god decided to purify the world ..

2008-11-25T00:07:00.004+01:00

hostel entrance..

my window view..
its not the best.. but had to settle with this..
p.s: gonna change to the opposite room to get breathtaking view of the whole town real soon :)

do you know what is rambut gatal ?

2008-11-22T00:03:00.001+01:00

to be continued tomorrow after i find a rambut gatal for demo alrite :)

jigsaw

2008-11-21T23:53:00.004+01:00

ive got to fit in my pieces so that they will be a perfect picture.
my jigsaw pieces are scattered all over. and ive got to sort em out real soon.
my upcoming months seem bleak. december and january respectively.
ive got to sort out exams and holidays. its a mission.
holidays are exciting and easy.
exams are boring and tough.
but no holidays without getting exams out of the way.

lets see the exam list :
1. microbiology final
2. social medicine final
3. introduction to internal medicine final
4. czech credit

holiday list :
1. our secret destination
2. new year with pei lee to prague then vienna if possible
3. to london my second home at shids on the 20th jan

so ive got to push in 4 events between 3 holiday periods. mission!

stressed. and stress induced eating habits. binge eating here i come. actually im already on board.

and yay winter is really here. it snowed today. and i think today onwards its gonna go downhill. no more sunshine till spring comes :S

winter love...

cold + sore throat + exams lurking = no good

2008-11-20T20:06:00.002+01:00

im ill again! blame it on my immune system. looks like my line of defence are not geared up for winter. may be not up for the battle. errmm.. more like they give up even before trying. lack of vitamin c ?? like colombus's sailors.

i hate this feeling. it makes me weak, grumpy, angry, frustrated and the list goes on. just name it. anything negative. these stated emotions are not evoked even during pms! so yeah, flu is kinda my pms.

anyway, thanks to shalini for her wonderful rasam. it helped me a bit. hopefully i will get well soon!

a czech tongue twister

2008-11-18T16:10:00.000+01:00

strč prst skrz krk

ku .. jua..

2008-11-13T21:07:00.001+01:00

ku mencari si dia,
ku terlihat diwajah semua,
ku ukirkan senyuman ria,

ku yakin cintanya jua

my jiwangness has notched up another level :P

stick to your ego

2008-11-13T20:54:00.004+01:00

you dont want to acknowledge existence. you think you are princess. subordinates to bow down. expect people to praise you. you think you are perfect. sigh, how perfect one can be when all you do is discriminate others. you may take the throne but no one is going to commemorate. i believe that with great power comes great responsibility. with big mouth comes big ass too. so big mouths trust me you are an ass. so stick to your ego. dont peep into private lifes of your fellow subordinates. may be not stalk them at least. live your life. merely a queen's life is not a life without people around them. so yeah, you need people to give yourself a designation. hmmm, go on and eat em all up. satiate your pangs :P wateva you crave for

sahut

2008-11-12T18:02:00.003+01:00

hatiku terasa hampa,
setelah kian lama,
berdiri di sini terdampar,
tertanya diri siapakah nama

sahutanku tidak berjawab,
tangisan dari mata hanya ilusi,
ku tercari cari sebab,
kini ku tersampai di lain dimensi.

inginku rangkul apa yang terlepas,
bolehkah ku kejar ku tertanya,
adakah ku terlanjur terbabas,
persoalan ini bilakan dapat kesudahannya

undecipherable

2008-11-09T15:49:00.002+01:00

i dont understand some people. they want themselves to be understood but they never give others a chance to understand them. its a teaser. its synical. its funny. shall we break into the vault to retrieve the mystery. its weird. let them expose themselves to sunshine. feel the world. peace out :)

p.s: im an open book :) come on scribble and make it pretty!!

:S

2008-11-09T02:59:00.001+01:00

KEMARAU
KEKERINGAN
KEMARUK

sigh sigh!!

one liner

2008-10-29T12:32:00.001+01:00

" you can lie to a priest but not to a pathologist"

HAPPY DIWALI

2008-10-27T01:38:00.003+01:00

Happy Diwali to one & all,
celebrate this auspicious day,
Light the lamps as its beautiful ray,
will slay all evil away!

Have fun ... and enjoy great array of delicacies. Satisfy your hunger pangs and go all out and dress in your best outfit and look the best :)

am happy?? yes i am.

2008-10-24T18:59:00.008+02:00

Its festival of lights,
Family out of sight,
I will put up a fight,
Distance can try all its might,
But i can see the Love in their eyes;
what a beautiful sight,
With them i dont need light,
Their love keeps my path bright :)

Got my parcel today! amazing 2 days ups service. hail ups. thumbs up. good job guys. Thanks appa n amma and of course kishnue!
got my diwali Muruku, achi muruku, jam tarts and almond london cookies.
yum yum yum. bring on the festive season.
wooohooooo

the list goes on as well :)
i got my diwali salwar...
im smiling none stop
how can ever my dad's taste go wrong! haha
black is always safe ;) love him loads.
and amma always picks the wrong gooey colour.
regardless she always makes shopping interesting
because her choices are always ____________
(because we mock her so bad)

this is a close up of the sleeve.
ebay typey photography eh :)

im the HAPPIEST BIRD on planet earth.
i should count my blessings!
im so lucky to have amazing parents.
and we actually afford to celebrate this festive season pompously.
its time to thank the krishna for all his exorbitant givings :)

HAPPY DIWALI TO EVERYONE!!
DONT DRINK AND DRIVE..
BUT FLY AND DRIVE ;)

HUGS ...
SPEND IT WITH LOVED ONES..AND WITH LOADS LOADS AND LOADS OF GOOD TASTE AMAZING INDIAN CUISINES...

with infinite amount of love,
vani gurl :)

my wednesday bestfriend

2008-10-23T00:07:00.002+02:00

Teman setiaku.
Its my ultimate remedy to bad stench.
Prolly natural perfume.
It makes my Wednesday mornings perfect.
Never in my wildest dream i would have known i would fall in love
with you.
Yes you my dearest Minyak Cap Kapak.

p.s: i am willing to become a fulltime dealer for minyak cap kapak in pathology lab. :P

i told ya! i told ya!!

2008-10-22T18:26:00.004+02:00

told yah i felt a bit lucky today.
damn im not a bit lucky.
actually all of us are lucky.
it must have been our little bundle of joy's luck. Kishan you brought us magic!! Guess what?????? We found back my mom's stolen car!! YES YES... that LITTLE GOLD BABY KANCIL. damn! kishan loved with passion and the police apparently called my dad to inform about the car this morning. what a perfect kickstart for his 19th birthday! damn amazing... and i am sooooooooooooo freaking fucking happy!! people might say its just a kancil. but millions of memories were made during those car rides. infinite is should. but sigh! though we found it finally, we are not going to us. we have to bid farewell to it forever too :( its SUI like it wont bring good luck any more. One will never know that event would have actually done us some good. Everything happens for a reason! Hold a homecoming partttyyyy wooohhoooooo

on my lil brother's birthday!

2008-10-22T14:29:00.004+02:00

its 22nd of october.
its my lil twin's birthday.
happy birthday my love.
hope u have an amazing day.
and all your wishes come true
(despite all your wishes are always ridiculous and unearthly)
love you loads.

and its wednesday morning as usual. class starts at 7 am. may be i should rephrase it. post mortem starts at 7 am. that means ive got to wake up at 5:30 am and catch the 6:20 am bus. so that we dont have walk like 2 kms to reach our faculty. in which to make it even better its up on a hill. the hike up every single morning sucks out all the little energy that you have mustered up to get through the day.

i walked into the icy cold room. waiting for the body to be prepared. we had a lady today who died of pneumonia but she was in a coma state for 6 months due to an aneurysm in her anterior communicating artery of the Circle of Willis. So i slipped into our surgical coats and snuggled my feet into the lab shoes. its big Mc Donald typey but in white. its mega huge and the overshoes are OVERSHOES. wear it over your shoe. this is to keep your expensive sneakers from getting "contaminated" or "stained" by water + blood + watsoever fluid that drips down from the table.

However today is just my lucky day. May be concindence. I just felt lucky :P Dad wanted Kishan on the 21st October so that both of us could have 21 as our birthdates. But sigh! we "tried" inducing him out but he was indeed a super stuborn baby and yes yes a stuborn boy too. He refused and made his pompous entrance on the 22nd of October 1989 at 12:05 am. So, shattered dream and a bundle of joy.

Again i have diverted my story. Back to the overshoes. They are numbered and normally you just slip into it regardless of its sizes. We do not even look down to check the numbers. Just slip into it. Any random ones. Some of them with dainty size 4 - 5 feet would slip into a size 12 megamcdonald typey slip-overs. So, i looked down and guess wat the numbers were... well ... I took a picture of my overshoes. Have a look at it .. Its really cool :)

can you spot the numbers ?? its was coincidence. 21 and a 3 .
21st Of March
hehe my birthday.
i know i sound so poyo.
but i cannot hide my excitatement.

this is a close up. kindly do ignore the patches or just photoshop it. i know it has loads of stains. maklumlah boots pathology lab. its used for post mortems :)

anyway, i felt like its my lucky day and my lil bro's birthday.
happy birthday kishnue! me love u :)

off track

2008-10-20T00:18:00.006+02:00

when i chose to take the alternative route.
evening walks.
breathing in crisp air.
embracing nature.

got closer to nature.
reminded how humble things can be.
its not all about the mighty big rat race..

autumn comes.
knocking your door.
nothing lasts forever.
things do come to and end.

persevere is the word.

p.s: the pretty purple reminds me of shids and sham. they love purple with passion. the warm air reminds me of warm hugs that i miss. warm hug that made me feel home :) sometimes its good to take walks alone. solitude taps inner sense and awakens your conscience.

hati terguris luka berdarah

2008-10-09T20:52:00.004+02:00

ingin aku bersua
seribu kata tak terkota...
antara hidup dan mati
berilah aku satu peluang
cinta pandang pertama...terindu jiwa
engkau cahaya hidup
ingin ku kotakan segala rentitan jiwa raga
namun lidah terkaku
sebutan seribu kata tak ingin ku nyata
apakah kesudahanya
nyawa terpinggir namun hati berdebar
hanya jiwamu memberikanku nyawa
kaulah nyata..hidupku ini ibarat mimpi serata
namum didikan hati tak ingin ku kata...
malah apa yang terperinci ingin ku setia
hati yang sepi teringatkan cinta...
namun cinta yang timbul berduri lima
kekasih meragut jiwa...

GREETINGS WISHES

2008-09-30T17:58:00.003+02:00

"SELAMAT HARI RAYA"

"EID MUBARAK"

Inginku menyusun 10 jari meminta ampun atas segala silap salah.
Maaf zahir batin

On this day, I am missing my dear muslim soulmates who are far away! Because they must be partying without me. Which is unfair. I want rendang too. I want nasi himpit with kuah kacang. I was kuih raya. I want. I want. I want. Macam macam I want.

Anyway, I am really happy for Malaysian students here. Because this will be their last raya here. Next year onwards we can celebrate it back at home land already. Mark that word WE. hehehe. That simply means i have to gear up my belly too for the thrilling gastronomic rides. Sigh! Diwali will always be out of the way. But yeah. I get to raya. Wooohhoooo....

and yes this is my ever favorite raya song :)

3rd autumn lurks

2008-09-27T23:08:00.003+02:00

They're coming down in showers,
The leaves all gold and red;
They're covering the little flowers,
And tucking them in bed.
They've spread a fairy carpet
All up and down the street;
And when we skip along to school,
They rustle 'neath our feet.

its my 3rd year of medical school. officially kicked off on the 15th September 2008. Mind-boggling subjects queued up this year. Go on knock out yourself with all possibilities of human body failures. Indeed it taps your curiosity. The only down side about these subjects is it provokes your inquisitive nature and hence self-diagnosis with multiple diseases and disorders. Yes! True.

Not only downfall. But the good part is another person's death teaches you a lot of things. Certainly a healthier lifestyle is on its way. Hopefully.

Anyways, we welcomed the 3rd year with a small dinner of course.Malaysians are malaysians. Signature celebratory mode is EATING. Above all it is Ramadhan. An amazing feast to break fast. Together we celebrated this auspicious month.

Oh!!! Breaking news. JPA Officer alert. Ever-growing number of Malaysian students lead the Public Service Department Of Malaysia to place an officer-in-charge here in Prague at the Malaysian Embassy.

Whoa! So, that our problems can be solved in a jiffy and nevertheless there is someone to "look after us". In a way its good. Well, we have approximately 200 students here. That is an astounding figure i should say. We are certainly crowding the universities here. Its good for us. But nevertheless this would definitely stir the pot. Not everyone would be happy about it. Ahh.. nevermind i would leave this matter hanging.

I am anticipating a good year ahead. And hopefully it will be a breezy good year :)

HAVE AN AMAZING ACADEMIC YEAR AHEAD EVERYONE!!

strange but true

2008-09-24T10:13:00.003+02:00

have you ever felt useless all your life? no aim no purpose? non-existing self esteem. what is confidence? Have you ever expressed your feelings openly ?? Even your siblings seem like enemy?

Day in day out. You go with the flow. Just breath, eat, sleep. Nothing more nothing lesser. Friends is a word that does not exist in your dictionary? Even your father does not acknowledge your presence. Mother nods with agreement to some few words you say in the name of encouragement.

Weird life! Future? Future is just a black hole you are going to fall into. Many questions linger? But you are not curious? Enthusiasm, joy, happiness, love, sadness, sympathy, empathy ..all these emotions are detached from your soul.

Body is just a mere body. Without a soul.

As depressing as it sounds. Depression is the word that describes this. Since when if that is your question. I would say it has been my loyal best friend all my life. Now go on mock me. Say its an evil energy. Put a full stop to it. I have a reply too. You want to put a full stop to my depression i would say take a knife and stab me. Kill me.

Life is worthless.

Rantings of a depressed!

p.s: if u meet a person for a very first time. and this wat u hear from him or her. what do u do?? ull be helpless like me. thinking wat went wrong where. start questioning yourself. are there any external forces that can make a change in this world. bless their souls! and be grateful if u are happy n chirpy. especially having loved ones :)

bleeding ears. bulging eyeballs. pounding head.

2008-09-22T16:27:00.002+02:00

back to back lectures. just stick your buttocks to the chair. and yes we are good to go. man! pathophysiology, pathology and then microbiology at the end. im super knackered. wanting to sleep. its rather strange when all you do the whole day are sedentary activities and you feel super exhausted. But if i were to shop or go around i would not feel this tired. strange.

anyway, managed to catch a movie yesterday Mamma Mia! the musical. how surprised i was to see what Pierce Brosnan had in store for me. He is not simply Pierce Brosnan he is Piercing Brosnan. He is a man! Totally a man! Just a few miliseconds when i anticipated that he is going to sing i yelped.. Nooooooooooooo. He is not gonna sing. And yeah he is not the singing typey. Seem like an extract from an indian movie only better because he had amazing smile and body. Hehehehe.

please do not laugh!! he is a lil emotional just bare with it...

xoxo

simple

2008-09-19T16:07:00.005+02:00

STUPENDOUS, prodigious, MONSTROUS
craving ..

PRETTY PINK

COKOLADA CHOCOLATE CHOCOLAT COKLAT!!

ABADI SELAMANYA

2008-09-17T22:01:00.006+02:00

segalanya telah berubah. dunia hari ini tidak dapat menjanjikan walau apa jua. tapi, pertemuan ini bukan setakat pertembungan. Pertembungan yang telah menyemarakkan api cinta di hati dua jiwa. Dua jiwa yang hanya mengenal apa itu kasih dan sayang. Cinta disemai dengan penuh belaian. Di siram dengan persefahaman yang tidak terbelah bahagi, Kadang kala ku terfikir? Betulkah kewujudan kuasa lain ? Kuasa cinta sudah memadai? konfrontasi ku terus tewas melihatkan asakan mereka berdua. Kini ku percaya, satu alam maya bisa dikuasai. Tidak memerlukan sejuta askar. Hanya dua jasad yang dikuasai satu jiwa boleh menewaskan walau apa jua. Memadai mencabar apa jua dugaan, persoalan tidak gentar buat sedetik. Mata-mata jahat bisa ditempis. Hanya merangkul Kejayaan. Bersatu selamanya. Cinta itu bukan setakat mengerti apa yang dititah tuan punya hati. Lub dub lub dub yang synkroni itulah cinta. Nafas yang dihembus yang sama ritmanya juga disebut cinta.

Jauh diperantauan dua hati bersatu, direstui dan kini buat selama-selamanya telah diabadikan. Diberi satu nama perhubungan yang sungguh istimewa dan suci. Terngiang-ngiang ku terdengar, angin membisik, sayup sayup kedengaran nama Cinta bila dua menjadi satu.

Akan kekal abadi ke akhir hayat. Direstui dengan 22 anak untuk sepasukan bola sepak, dan cucu cicitnya tidak terbilang.

sepi

2008-09-17T21:53:00.002+02:00

ku terduduk terpaku mata meliar mencari cari.penantian itu bagai kemarau yang tiada penghujungnya. ditemani empat dinding yang setia hanya tingkapku yang membuka tirai ke dunia luar. ku merenung, jauh disudut mata terlintas gambaran tanahair. terus ku mendakap memoriku kuat. tidak hendaknya terlepas. terkapai-kapai di perantauan. apakah daya ku hanya setakat menunggu masa lalu. merasa sentuhan yang ku kenal. tidak asing. tidak memerlukan kata-kata. setakat pandangan mencukupi. entah mengapa meronta-ronta perasaan ku. adakah keheningan senja? cukup istimewa hari-hari indah ku. terlonjak-lonjak dalam kegembiraan. tidak sedar waktu hilang. tidak menyapa sebelum pergi. satu ku pasti, tidak boleh dalam seumur hidup memori sebagai permata itu akan dapat diulangi.

check-in* boarding passsecurity checkfasten seatbelts*

2008-09-12T07:42:00.002+02:00

yes tomorrow. it is tomorrow.
so today is last friday. almost last day here.
mom, dad n kish are at home.
dad went to the morning market.. hunted down some crabbies for me.
at the moment, he is killin' em one by one.. brutal i know :P
but its super delicious when he whips up an amazing dish!

done with packing, just a little more to go.
i need my morning dose of KAYA went i go back to czech.
tomorrow ill be all edgy, discomfort, to fly all the way back there.

just chill meanwhile...

love, me

MY FUCKING GOOD DRIVER

2008-09-05T05:54:00.003+02:00

Dear Fucking Good Driver of Mine,

I know you are undeniably amazing. You managed to overcome all the humps in Taman Gembira and drove around on Malaysian soil without getting a summon or even facing a must-bribe- scenario.

As i always mentioned, the British instructors or examiners need a dose of Malaysian driving skill or just show them the TOO FAST TOO FURRRRRRRIIIIIIIOOOOUSSSSSS skills in you!!

You can do this. when i get my arse to GAGAKborough i want you to drive me around! Its an order.

Anyway, my last visit to Loft on last Wednesday, even Nizam was not there. Sigh!! This is how it looked at 1 am!! believe it or not .. believe it

taubat lol!

its a been a while

2008-09-04T13:43:00.002+02:00

summer holidays is coming to an end. its been a real long one. getting a bit draggy. brain rusted. no productivity many useless activities. bumping around. eating eating eating and more eating. which makes me a happy fat pig. gonna leave next week, return to books. sigh! its nothing pleasant but someone has got to do it right.

this is summer i have done catching ups .. punching cards where necessary... i cant ask for more. with not much time left on my hands i cannot be demanding.

yeah, with another 9 days to go i have got to pack up and sort my luggage. Not forgetting i am absolutely broke! gotta roll some here and there. hopefully all turns out fine. besides, i am not really anticipating czech yet i think i should not be lingering around Malaysia still.

everything put together

2008-06-24T00:52:00.003+02:00

summer is here. exams done. wedding soon. home jiffy. confusion alarming. laziness excruciating. hmmm. summer is here. i am done with all my exams. more like done with 2nd year. thats really fast. time flies! i never realized how fast time just passes by. till, i reach home and look at my parents. silently whisper to myself. oh my they look older. that makes my heart race a little faster. but i seal it off with a big fat smile. this summer is certainly very interesting. i am anticipating it. a wedding in my planner. oh my. that is so exciting. may be for those out there might think it is just a wedding. but for me it is the wedding. because it is the FIRST WEDDING. among all my friends. so yeah. loads of update on it time to time. i promise! and.... after my exams i have been spending quality time watching movies and started watching a serial. i can official declare my addiction to soaps.

slo mo slo mo slo mo

2008-06-22T16:20:00.001+02:00

days are moving so god damn slowly. i have got things to sort out as well. blergh! i want to go back home. nak balik ni. i hate packing. i hate being responsible. hate being poor. cries out loud! real loud!

adrenaline rush

2008-06-22T00:51:00.002+02:00

i dont know where to start. my bestie here is getting married. come on! we are literally a family here. and she is getting married to him! yes yes he and her. certainly. im speechless. im sooooo god damn excited.... its hitting the roof. i need time to regain composure. honeymoon or dress code? or the hen nite? or damn the shoes? cakes? garden ? im gonna faint soon!

but... tears of joy... trickled down my cheek was priceless. and yes i love her... him too hehehe..

My heartfelt congratulations to akmalia and razin!! Love you both and may god bless you...and bless me too (to be a godmother real sooooooooooooon) love yah!!

..................................................

2008-06-18T18:57:00.003+02:00

"Sepandai pandai tupai melompat akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga "

chasing pavements

2008-06-13T10:34:00.003+02:00

simply hi makes my day. days have been better. summer is here. so is sunshine.
loving my sleepy mornings....

Ive made up my mind
dont need to think it over
if im wrong i am right
dont need to look no further
this aint lust i know this is love

but if i tell the world
i'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if i end up with you

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

i build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

or should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

girls, girls, girls

2008-06-12T00:04:00.005+02:00

hmm... should i say women instead. SEX AND THE CITY THE MOVIE was amazing! loved it! seriously, enjoyed the movie to every bit of it. the pweety handbags, i love em shoes in that movie. despite the fact me hating blue colour. fell in love with this amazing diamante blue heels. blue stilettos turned to proposal ring. that describes its prettiness!

this is it. the orgasmic $925 Manolo Blahnik!
i dont understand how comes carrie got it for $525. prolly vogue discount vouchers hehe.

thats not everything to it! first the movie reminded me of my girl friends! shidah you are so god damn right. now after watching it, im definitely not a Miranda. Never in a million years i think. and most of all i doubt i can pull off the short hair look lol. Anyway, the movie made me miss you girls a lot and i want to grow old with you!!

And not forgetting the girls i went to watch the movie with. Those joy we shared laughing our heads off, memories made, smiles captured will be with me forever.

Cheers to the past 22 and next 22 years to unfold. and till the end of time!

and most of all, i have learned one thing that never goes out of fashion is
LOVE

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together -
Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.
Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

p.s. : im thinking of carrying a crayon in my handbag too. i need some "colouring" session. life is a little too dull. hehe

GREASE! GREASE! GREASE!

2008-06-07T02:19:00.003+02:00

bored. yes. one word bored. hunting for a nice movie to watch. i jumped from movies to movies. the list is pretty long i should say.
1. X-Men
2. Romance & Cigarettes
3. Pathology
4. Welcome
5. Laaga Chuneri Mein Daag
6. Race
7. Charlie Chaplin
8. The Tattooist
9. Jumper
10. Forgetting Sarah Marshall...
..........................
...................
................
...........

damn thats a long list

......
....

finally i have a winner...
GREASE! yeah travolta's GREASE!

summer nights! who can ever forget this song!!

Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me - I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?

She swam by me, she got a cramp - he went by me, got my suit damp
I saved her life, she nearly drowned - he showed off, splashing around
Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?

Took her bowlin' in the Arcade - we went strollin', drank lemonade
We made out under the dock - we stayed out until ten o'clock
Summer fling don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, that you don't got her preg
Tell me more, tell me more, cause he sounds like a drag

He got friendly, holdin' my hand - well she got friendly, down in the
sand
He was sweet, just turned eighteen - well she was good, you know what I
mean
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, how much dough did he spend?
Tell me more, tell me more, could she get me a friend?

It turned colder, that's where it ends - so I told her we'd still be
friends
Then we made our true love vow - wonder what she's doin' now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more.

summer is here. so is summer night!! It never failed to make me smile!!

tap tap ... pinch pinch ?? prolly a strong blow on my head

2008-06-06T19:52:00.003+02:00

soul searching has been my issue. core. hardcore. i failed to find me. the real me. so many things happened that i forgot myself.

i was just walking down memory lane. realized i HAD a philanthropist nature. HAD. its all gone. then, i was a better person. nicer. i am seeking for that to come back. missing my days. reminiscing past. PAST past!

now its me, myself and my four walls. those walls are staring back at me every single day. pleading me to knock my head against to get some sense lol! *weirdest kinda sense of humor* pardon me

xxx

me not being me ^o)

2008-06-06T01:48:00.004+02:00

kick off line : i am aint no movie person.
yeah. u read that correctly. an expression of head nodding in disagreement is certainly inevitable. but yeah. more of a drama or reality television person.
i have not been myself for past few days. even, me passing my exams was not a big thing. it was an exam. just a big AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH FINALLLY its over kinda expression. but, on the other hand. i have been spending my time, sleeping, and watching movies :D. Yeah. Me watching movies. i seldom do that. i just watch movies once in a blue moon. like if it is super famous and must watch typey. believe it or not i have not watched X-MEN before. yeah. hell yeah! never. but since my exam was over, i have been indulging in silence, solitude and yeah MOVIES. Outsourced was a movie that i have been dying to watch and finally i got to watch. hallelujah! it buffered proper this time. after watching that, i want to go india so bad now :( i just want to go that place. those houses, with a center open space..where rain falls right into the house!! arrgghhh! but yeah. outsourced was well ......

i totally disagree with most of the reviews. it was not hardcore india. like it was not as colorful as it should be. hmmmmm..... not much of dancing and singing. not dreamy dreamy...they kept it real i suppose. and the line i love the most is "Holiday in Goa" . Just like that. It is a nice movie to unwind with. just sit back in relax. no dramas that will rekindle you of any kinda memories.

With this i attached a clear link; its darn good : OUTSOURCED

and not forgetting a so-so movie by patrick dempsey. ahh. does that name ring a bell?? hmmm. he is mc dreamy in greys. MADE OF HONOR. he is great with woman but he is not in love. with his silly rules of not doing a girl twice in a row. seriousssssssssly (meredith typey) has he gone out of his mind to play "fornicator" and lame ass "basketball player". he should stick to his scrubs i would say. nevertheless it was a good movie. had nice laugh. reminded me of my buddy. and whoever intends or plans to get married to a scotlander; viewers' discretion are strongly advised. but nevertheless, loved the sunday rituals. it made it real :D just like my nasi lemak mornings and post-nasi lemak sessions.

"MADE OF HONOR"

p.s: i couldnt help notice the white roses look like it has been dipped into a pail of blood.

anyway, gonna slip off into my dreams. good night. have a perfect friday ahead. good day mates!!

game over. one more hurdle left

2008-06-04T15:38:00.001+02:00

physio out of my window! hell yeah. it is out. wooooooof. it was all good. despite the sleepless nights, wet notes, uncertain heart. yeah. i did it. it must be their since prayers and good luck wishes. thanks!!

happy birthday dearest dad!

2008-06-03T00:24:00.001+02:00

happy birthday appa! i should celebrate this day simply because i am grateful to be your daughter. u are amazing! and you will always be on your pedestal. king of my heart. i love you daddy. i missing you so dearly. i will never forget all the time we have gone through together from the jokes we shared to the tears... joy or sad. you have been there. you are my pillar of strength. thank you for being there. and i love you. and you should know i am really proud to be yours. happy birthday again :D

cracked!

2008-06-02T00:03:00.001+02:00

wooohooo. my damp cracked. and there goes all the water in the world! another spurt. 15feet radius now. check ur distance. or you will be like me !!

as i said ill be back

2008-06-01T23:47:00.003+02:00

im sinking. capsizing. thinking what is my existence for? to hurt eh ? i am not gonna say nothing no more. i got to respect myself and my feelings. and stand by them. yes, stand by it. arrgghh. i need my dad. real bad! i wanna go back home. its not the finest moments of my life. officially declaring hate to the first half of this year. when i go missing stop asking me why i go missing? because sometimes u are just ashamed of your acts. i need my temple. i need that peace. i want what i have lost!!! i want it all back. why cant i be the person that i want to be? who am i? a piece of log. who flirts like a dog. and here you go everything backfires! who is the villain in the whole story me ? i am not denying but yeah the villain will be enlightened one day and comes back for forgiveness right? at that time. he or she shall be forgived.. hmmm thats in movies..will that happen in real life?? it makes me wonder.

every 5 minutes. or shall i say 5 seconds.

2008-06-01T23:30:00.002+02:00

a sentence. may be 2 sentences. my concentration span has decreased to a magnitude of a gold fish. or even lower than that. i am getting this randoms thoughts. what if. what if not. if i did. if i did not. something went wrong somewhere. one thing i am certain of that i am out-of-order. temporarily suspended everything. hate this. i have got to set everything straight. if i am depressed i tend to study. but, sigh. i cannot bare seeing sadness in another's eyes. that makes me weak. dysfunctional! totally. i am spurting out every 5 minutes here or so. nevertheless, not penning down my real thoughts. i feel like im losing something. and i am a sucker at handling loses!! not going to say good bye. because i am certain that i am going to return here to continue letting out...ranting... moaning... whining... bitching...everything... but just to all.. keep away from me. increasing 5 feet to 10 feet radius at all times. i have got bitch vibes!

its almost coming to an end

2008-06-01T22:42:00.001+02:00

the day is coming to an end. im speechless. my neuronal pools are emitting to many signals at the same time. some circuits are not functioning either. hay wire i should say. i am getting ready for all the punishments in the world! aint a nice person :D beware. keep away 5 feet radius from me at all times.

its a summer day

2008-06-01T13:15:00.001+02:00

looking back at my last summer. i am afraid my summers are jinxed. too much of expectations that spoil everything. anyway, i slept, overslept. just refused to wake up despite me waking up a million times and yet forced myself back to sleep. temporary ignorance syndrome. a getaway i would say. yet, sleep did not work. off i go. out into the wilderness. will be home soon. goodbye.

waves of realisation

2008-05-31T23:32:00.006+02:00

big question. what have i become? i cannot get hold of myself. indecisive i am. just me. i have lost me. should i blame it on the affluent amount of love i have. or loving unconditionally. uncertain i am. but i will never forget this night. a milestone to be remembered. wrecked i am. my wings will never ever flap anymore. not with pride at least. its too complicated of a situation. if and only if it was as simple as doing a dissection it. slice my heart open and the verdict stares back at you. being perplexed, confused does not help at all. why am i not strong enough to stand by my decision. i constantly ask myself what is wrong with me. fighting with conscience is not very sweet either. a weak heart i have. i shatter so easily. why do i always think for everyone else not for my own happiness. i think i will never learn how to be self centered till i exhale my last breath. so its up to you to take it or leave it. that i am here to make others happy even that will bring tears to my eye. probably i need some space and time. take a deep breath. reminisce back at the past. how things were. might be painful to tap my dark sides. but looks like i have to do it. i am learning. not going to crumble. i really need an answer. real soon. but one thing for sure, i am looking at a change. change for the better. to eliminate a word from my dictionary. unable to practice that verb will be difficult (As some say its in my blood to do so :P ). yet, its not wrong to try. writing down these words were not easy. tonight i have said things that never in a million years i would had the guts to say but i did. i was brave. tonight i was brutally honest. and tonight taught me lessons. friends are there. and that one girl just told me one thing "you know no matter wat i will be on your side girl, right or wrong". and there some i really would not want to lose. some that i do not want to deny their rights. and i thank god, that i am blessed to meet beautiful souls. yes, i have met angels. ask me! i have met more than one. what will I be without them. now, i shall wish upon a shooting star hoping things would not be as complicated and everything will go back to normal. i need a breath of fresh air. an adrenaline rush. racing heart beats. i need myself back.

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

going to sleep it off. dire need of a thunderstorm. i need to get drenched. and run away far far far away. till daddy comes hunting for me and drags me back home. good old days. i need a good shot of rain. and if i go missing dont find for me. i will be safe and sound.

but then again. it is undeniably one heck of life. should be counting my blessings. i think i should just count everyone around me instead. simply because they are all my blessings. really would be helpless without my special ones. love you all. and i will never stop loving!

endocrine

2008-05-31T20:01:00.000+02:00

simple = blame it all on raging hormones!

blue is the colour of the day

2008-05-30T01:49:00.001+02:00

feeling blue. snuggled under my blankie. away from the world. a day just flew out of the window. im just basking in my sorrow. making loneliness my home. silence has engulfed me into a territory beyond recognition. emerge i will at the other end. for tomorrow will be a better day. may the sunshine brings along hope and happiness.

total lost

2008-05-29T00:09:00.002+02:00

today just went by. just like...swoooooooooosh! went out of the window. its a wednesday curse. its a chill out day. its thursday now. thus, it shall take a detour. anyways czech oral exam is lurking. i can smell it. dont ask how it smells i would not want to go there at all. besides that, its been a nice warm spring day. it was a well hilarious day. mixed feelings. i really cannot decipher codes and feelings. my processor is out-of-order. damn, i cant wait to hit homeland. before that _____. let it be a blank till i am done with it then i will fill in the blank.

i logged in with a clear vision of what to blog because i had a thought to share. but damn, i forgot.

but i had an amazing dream last night. i was in red. and he was in something nice i would say. it was a drama. pulling pushing rain. ill let it be like that. let imaginations run wild. but it did not get to the pinnacle. trust me on this. hehehe.

bring it on!

Mluvim jenom trochu cesky!!!! rozumite??

I had an episode of malay spasm.. went on rambling in BM!

angin membawa khabar..
tersayup sayup... menusuk kalbu.....
khabar cinta.
tidak bisa dilihat hanya dirasa.
desir lembut menyapa.. tidak terdaya hati...
to be cont
forgettttttttttting czech!!

*scurries off*

hari ini dalam sejarah

2008-05-27T17:10:00.003+02:00

digestive system. metabolism of carbs, proteins and fat. dietary requirements. endocrinology. missions in life!

one love

2008-05-27T02:51:00.004+02:00

touch. sense. feel. love. inhale. strong. bond. love. unity. peace. us. love. malaysians. one love.
its all the small things that make big differences.
miss home dearly. where my heart belongs.
where memories were made.
moments cherished.
hand in hand
peace
home sweet home

HERE IN MY HOME

Verse 1

Hold on brother hold on

The road is long. We’re on stony ground

But I’m strong. You ain’t heavy

Verse 2

Oh there’s a misspoken truth that lies

Colors don’t bind, oh no.

What do they know? They speak falsely.

Chorus

Here in my home

I’ll tell you what its all about

There’s just one hope here in my heart

One love undivided

That’s what it’s all about

Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?

Verse 3

Push back sister won’t you push back?

Love won’t wait. Just keep pushing on.

Yes I’m strong. You ain’t heavy.

Verse 4

Oh don’t you worry about that…

What we have shadows can’t deny

Don’t you know it’s now or never?

Rap

[Bahasa Malaysia]

Bertubi asakan berkurun lamanya

Hati ke depan mencari yang sayang

translation: Years of fears and years of tribulation

The heart keeps searching for that endless devotion

[Mandarin]

手牵手大家一起走，我代表华人开口未来就没有丢走

phonetics: shou qian shou da jia yi qi zou

wo dai biao hua ren kai kou wei lai jiu mei you diu zou

translation: Hand in hand we’ll march like blood brothers

I speak for my people we’ll find peace forever

[Tamil]

இந்த பயணம் பயணம்.. என் வெற்றி தாகம்,

அந்த கனா காலம்.. நம் வெற்றி ராகம்,

நண்பா.. நண்பா..

phonetics: inthe payanam payanamm yen vettri thaagam

anthee kaana kaalam naam vetri raagam...nanba nanba

translation: May the road ahead quench my thirst for success

May the road behind echo a song of the blessed

[English]

Yes I feel it in my bones and I will let it be known

No matter where I roam this is home sweet home

Sing!

- Words & Music by Pete Teo featuring rap by KLG Sqwad & Altimet

feeling shitty

2008-05-27T00:11:00.003+02:00

stressed induced blabberings and impulsive acts! damn... an act i pulled off did not turn out right. hopefully my apology would be accepted. i need to sleep. being seated for 12 hours does not help ease this uneasiness either! i am just being a pain!! concentration span is oozing out of my system. just vanished totally i think into thin air. come back with a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

5 days to the end of the month.

2008-05-26T18:36:00.002+02:00

lets see today was all about circulatory and blood. boring yeah. because ?? i am student! hell yeah student. still learning!! faintssssssss

jantung ku berdegup,
lub dub lub dub,
denyutan yang kuat dan berirama sungguh,
darahku merah... deras....

ill continue later.blergh! back to work. actually cause im studying clotting mechanism. darah terbeku. otak TERjam!

.............gone with the wind...............

degup!

2008-05-25T15:21:00.002+02:00

lub dub lub dub. denyutan jantung.

refreshed ... lie-in!

2008-05-23T16:28:00.005+02:00

woke up early as scheduled. cleaned up the mess in my room [tick] as scheduled as well. watched grey's anatomy's season finale ... 2 hours show! watched cutting edge 3. basically i did more than what i should. and i should have done more studying then watching cutting edge 3. but its ok. its worth it. plus to be noted, i whipped up a decent meal after ages! yes, decent meal!! totallly productive. a clean room and a new me! loving today. will make it perfect by doing some work! physio here i come :D
does that look familiar?? yes. its an ECG. one complete cardiac cycle. dush. i got loads of that to learn. voltage current running through our heart! u see basically the heart knows how exactly to carry out its duty. it beats steadily rhythmically.

and heart. certainly sensitive topic! love, heart, lust, infatuation whatever you call it. it makes your heart race so fast and sometimes soooooo faint that you might think it is the end of the world. HEART never listens to you. why does it breaks even though we fight it so bad and we try to stand strong. Whenever, we are standing bravely to withstand a blow (anticipated certainly!) but sigh we just crumble. Heart.

Basically i found the answer it is SELF-EXCITABLE and AUTONOMICALLY CONTROLLED. I am sorry to say that it is rather super difficult to control it. So listen to it. Follow the rhythm. Live your life!

1 down. 3 more to go

2008-05-22T13:01:00.000+02:00

czech written outta my way.
bring in the oral now :P

ishhhhhhh. actually im still dreading it!

biochemistry and physiology coming up real soon. catching up to my neck!! dush dush dush..
aja aja fighting!!

NO NATO

2008-05-19T15:53:00.003+02:00

a new resolution. NO NATO. JUST EXECUTE.
i promised myself to stop whining! yeah. stop complaining and dreading!
maybe a dose of moaning here and there. but i am working on it. instead propel all the energy wasted on the above stated activities on more productive work like studying! Yeah. But, allow me to dread on Czech. I really do not comprehend how my Czech language standard has dropped to a level beyond help. I am having this vague premonition of the upcoming credit test. Yeah! it is just a test but it is deadly enough to kill! Czech here i come to the battlefield. Lets fight it!

quick sneak preview :
Od kdy máte tu horečku? Kdy to celé začalo?
Since when you have fever? When did it all start?

Změřil jste si teplotu?
Did you measure your temperature?

Měl jste nějaké bolesti?
Did you have any type of pain?

Besides, that what makes it all the merrier is most the words are made of the letter Z or may be 4 to 5 consonants put together. Hmmmmm, wat about trying to pronounce PRS and PRST ?? The T in prst is the turning point. simply because, when you go in with an injured finger but your breast gets treated!! WTF?? yeah.. true.. prs and Prsttttttttttt it!!

18th day of the fifth month 08

2008-05-18T13:32:00.002+02:00

feeling boyish! dont ask y..yeah..BOY!! heard that. i feel like choppin' off my hair. real short.. like a boy. revamp my wardrobe. be all fly like that. not the pretty boy typey. but the messy ones. cargo pants, flip flops, polo tee with collar up, spiked up hair, a million hand bands on my wrist... hmmm ..wait.. the sunglasses... to complete the look.

blabber blabber blabber. what if i just choose to head to the hairdresser right now!! :D Wud be amazing.........

blocked

2008-05-09T00:00:00.000+02:00

temporary block! running out of words :(

brand new jones!

2008-05-04T06:09:00.003+02:00

went out today ..after ages! was amazing. and its surreal to listen to one of my favourites. like seriously, he is not that popular what say his song right. its makes my heart jump and i can afford to smile on my own. prolly, blame it on the trilby the girl is wearing and his swift moves :D

oh yeah! i forgot to mention how this random guy came up to me and he extended his hand. as i refused he started jumping in the air. then he sat besides me. i was getting all geared to say no to him. till .. guess wat he started screaming "CHELSEA CHELSEA". seriously! how bad life can get. super pissed. and thats it. i called it a day!

internet = world!

2008-04-21T17:45:00.002+02:00

with some spare time in hand (explains, simply because histo is out of my way) i got a lil bored. And hurrmmmm..an incident that occurred during last LAST new year (2006) somewhere in Tunbridgewells. Well, Mr.Delivery -Not Handsome Crusty- Boy asked "Do you know what you name means?? Rashiiiiiiiidah?? "

PROUDLY PRESENTING RASHIDAH :

Gender:Female
Ethnic Origin:Muslim
Meaning: Conscious. Pious. Wise. Mature.

And this requires no tips or any amount of expenditure (which includes wasting energy listening and looking at a major disaster. God, Raj's should do something about their workers!). Listen woman, u owe me nothing .. but maybe just treat me with a good brownie eh. At you know where. Hehehe. Hugsss.....

When you are happy and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS!

2008-04-21T17:19:00.003+02:00

If you're happy and you know it tap your toe.
If you're happy and you know it tap your toe.
If you're happy and you know it then your face will surely show it;

If you're happy and you know it tap your toe.

More than relieved that it is over. Histology and Embryology out of my window and yeah i saw Biochemistry and Physiology flying in. But it does not matter. The ever infamous quote by Rashidah Tasneem "Slowly but surely" is applicable here. Yeah! I am done with it and i am off for a mini break. Before i hit the books again before i head back home. 2nd semester is going to end soon. In a months time. Thus, 2nd year! Time flies seriously. I remember the exact feelings when i alighted the aircraft at Prague and the crispy air. Sheeeeeeeeeesh. Anyways, that is not important got back home after a dreadful czech class and managed to catch a movie it was well funny! Short nap and some spring cleaning. Room is in a mess. Now i call out for Miss.OCD!